Karaoke Sucks
by ZeDancingHobbit
Summary: Kai is being irritating once again, Natara has been roped into going to Karaoke Night at the Drunk Tank, and *gasp!* Mal Fallon has managed to blush. Oh, dear. Andrea Bocelli, you sly fox, you. One-shot. Complete.


**Hey. **

**So, I'm not even sure what this is… Like seriously. It's not my best work, because I was typing it up on my phone and then my phone broke (CURSES), so, it's not my greatest…but I thought people might like it. Maybe? Possibly? Not sure… It takes place whilst Nat is engaged to Oscar. Woohoo. And I do realize we're not technically supposed to put song lyrics in fanfics…but I'm not sorry enough to take them out… **

**MWAH. **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own CoD. If I did, well….I dunno. It'd be awesome. **

"No, Kai," Natara snapped, not bothering to glance up from her towering stack of papers that covered the right side of her desk.

"But whyyyyyy?" Kai moaned, flopping forward and spreading himself over the opposite side from the papers, leaving her about six inch wide, 9 inch space in which for her to peruse the useless things. "It won't be fun without you!"

"I don't make a habit of singing karaoke."

"Whyyyy? It's so fuuun," Kai answered, dragging out his muffled voice to an infuriating degree.

"It's Friday. I'm off work tomorrow. I have a bubble bath waiting for me at home, and most likely some takeout Chinese. I'm going home, and that is final."

"But Naaat," Kai whined, rolling himself around and gazing in her eyes with puppy-like cuteness, "it won't be fun without you!"

"Please," she scoffed, "trust me. It will probably be twice as much fun without me. I'm not exactly the most uninhibited person around. I'm sure Blaise will be a much more…rowdy…singer."

"Nooooooooooo," Kai groaned. "Mal won't have fun without you, and I have to get him drunk enough to sing so I can videotape it and study it carefully because I need new ideas for my fanfictioooon…"

Natara's eye twitched. "…That might possibly be the worst reason I have ever heard." She turned her attention back to the paper that she held in her hand. The words, after the long day, started to swim before her eyes. Her eyes were so tired that the stark black and white blended together and seemed to make her brain pop. She set the report down and rubbed her temples, squeezing her eyes shut and rolling her neck to get the kinks out o it. It gave a few satisfactory cracks, but didn't offer much help. With a groaning sigh, she opened up her brown eyes and glared at the sniveling forensic-tech. "Kai, you better get off my desk in five seconds, or-"

"She'll cut off your hands and feed them to the dogs," interrupted a bemused voice. "I'm sure you can type with your toes, you already have so many 'talents'." Mal shifted himself to be able to make quotation marks around 'talents' before leaning back against a large filing cabinet. "What are you moaning about now, Kai?"

"He wants me to go to karaoke Night at the Drunk Tank," Nat answered before Kai could get a word in. "I'm not going and he won't leave me alone. Make him leave me alone."

"Ah, you should come, Nat. Everybody's going," Mal replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "It'll be fun! Me, and Ken, and Amy, and Blaise, and Jeremy are going. You should too."

"I'm going too!" Kai interjected from his place upon the desk.

Mal rolled his eyes. "I try to forget that fact."

"I can't!" Nat changed the subject. "I have too much paperwork, and I really want a bubble bath. I need to wear my old fuzzy slippers that I need to replace with a new pair." She gave Mal her best puppy eyes and puckered lip, hoping that would convince him to leave her alone.

Unfortunately, it only made him laugh. "We're going at seven. That's plenty of time to go home and take your bubble bath and get yourself ready. Easy."

"Noooo," Natara moaned, putting her head on her cold, metal desk. "Mal…"

"Nope," Mal chuckled, approaching her from behind and rubbing her shoulders. "Up and at 'em, cowboy. It'll be fun."

Nat turned and glared at her partner. "I thought you were supposed to support me."

"Me? Only when you're right," Mal laughed.

Natara gave quiet 'humph' and picked up her paper once more. "Fine, fine. Just leave me alone."

"Really?!" Kai jumped up with a squeal and peeled away, making for the lab. "I just got an idea!"

Mal and Natara followed the odd Hawaiian with their eyes, watching as he disappeared. "What was that all about?"

"Don't ask."

oOoOo

At roughly 7:08 PM, Natara strolled into the Drunk Tank with Mal by her side. She wore a pair of shorts, a dark purple tank top, and a white cardigan, paired with ballet flats, her hair was nice and clean, and she felt much better. Even, perhaps, ready for karaoke.

Oh, not for her to sing, of course. Natara didn't sing. But she was ready to indulge in some beer and laugh at the other poor souls who attempted to sing. Yes, yes she was.

The bar smelled of whiskey and wings, with a touch of body odor mixed in. That bit wasn't so surprising, seeing as it was a Friday Karaoke Night. There was a throng of people gathered, milling about and laughing as a high-pitched voice wailed out some love ballad over the mike. Two men were yelling at each other, prompting a burly man to cross towards them and escort them out of the establishment. There was a general aura of chaos and fellowship over the area, one that Natara was glad of. A bubble of anticipation entered her stomach.

The others were all gathered around a circle shaped table, each with a beer in hand and laughing at some joke Ken had told. All, that is, save Mal, who had been waiting for her outside and was next to her. He handed her a previously bought beer, and they clinked the glasses together, a smile slowly forming on Natara's face. Yes, maybe she would have some fun tonight.

Blaise had already downed three beers and was still going strong as the two approached the table. "Natara!" she cheered, coming closer with a wide grin on her face. "And here she is, ladies and gents!"

Natara blushed and smiled. "Okay, Blaise, okay. So how does this work?"

"Well, basically, they take this big spotlight thing and if they shine it on you, you have to sing. You can go up to sing without it, if you want, but not many do. That's it." Blaise shrugged and turned back to the group. "Come on, let's see who gets picked this time."

Natara couldn't help privately observing that it was all a bit High School Musical-esque, but as long as she wasn't picked, she didn't mind. And so, she let Mal lead her over to the group to enjoy the rest of the evening.

After about an hour and a half and two beers later, Natara was still having a blast. Surprisingly, Jeremy was very adept at poking wry fun at those who were less than adept at singing. He had the others doubled over at his sarcastic remarks and subtle insults. As well, Kai had provided them with an extremely amusing, shrieky version of Adele's 'Set Fire to the Rain'. Truth be told, it was a bit scarring. Still, altogether, the happy atmosphere combined with the alcohol and her friends at her side had Natara being a very happy profiler.

She set her beer down on the table and settled back comfortably on her stool, listening as the dj's voice boomed out over the loudspeaker. "Alright, ladies and gents, it's duet time!" A rousing cry went up at the mention of the event. Natara took a sip of her beer as a smile grew on her lips. 'Duet Time' was that lovely time of night when two spotlights were shined upon the crowd, one on a man and one on a woman. The two "lucky" people would then be forced to sing a duet with someone they had absolutely no connection with. It was great fun to watch, though half the time the two would shrink away, hugely embarrassed. Natara was thankful that she had not been picked yet. However, even if she did, she knew she would not have to sing with anyone she knew. They were all grouped around her at the moment… all except for Mal. He had just gone off to get another drink. Oh well. She brushed the thought off nonchalantly. She wouldn't be picked.

"Okay, let's see who we'll hear sing tonight…" The lights roamed around the crowd before it shined directly into Natara's eyes, blinding her…and staying there. The crowd whooped and cheered and Blaise shoved her out of her stool before her brain could register what it meant. Wait…what?! No, no no no! Natara struggled against the hands pushing her up towards the front. However, for all of her strength, it was nothing compared to the power of the crowd. She was placed up on a platform in front of a screen that held the words to the songs they would sing. At the moment, it proudly displayed the words "Wheel of Songs". Her heart sank beneath her as she watched for the light that would signal her partner.

Mal stepped away from the bar with his beer in hand and popped off the top, but before he could take a swig of the alcohol, a blinding light caught him in the eyes. He staggered backwards slightly at the power of it, to the tune of catcalls and hollers. He was confused as to the cause of it, but was pushed forward to the front and helped up on top of a platform, thankfully next to Natara. She looked completely mortified, her face bright red and her lips pinched. "What the heck-" he started, but was interrupted by the dj.

"We-ell," his irritating voice drawled out, it looks like we have our two singers for the duet! Tell us, pretty lady, what's your name?"

"N-Natara," she stammered as Mal's proverbial hackles raised at the man's cheeky remark. Pretty lady, indeed! No-one was allowed to call her that except Mal, and possibly Oscar. He'd kill that dj.

"And what about you?"

"Mal," Mal gritted out between his teeth into the microphone held in front of him. No, no, no. He would not do this. Mal Fallon didn't sing. Absolutely not.

"Alllllrighty then, let's spin that wheel!" The tv screen flickered as a grainy, bad-quality wheel of song titles spun past, gradually slowing down until it stopped fully. The song title blinked bright green, showcasing the words "'Can't Help Falling in Love' by Andrea Bocelli and Katherine McPhee". Natara's stomach dropped. No, no, please no! She was marrying Oscar, she could not sing this song. No. No. No. The sounds from the crowd and the dj announcing the song were lost to her as she glanced at Mal.

Oh dear.

They were both handed microphones and the song was pressed, the first piano notes ringing out over the quiet crowd. Mal's turn was up first, and his lines popped up on the screen. He cleared his throat and, his face turning slightly pink, brought the microphone to his lips. 3, 2, 1... "_Wise men say,_" he sang into the microphone, his voice in a quiet volume.

"Louder!" some random person yelled from the audience.

"_Only fools rush in_." His voice rang louder, and bit harsher as he shot a glare in the direction of the offending yeller. "_But I can't help, falling in love with you._" His verse ended and he brought the microphone down, coughing slightly. He actually had a great voice. It was a beautiful quality, with an even tone. It was slightly deep, but not too deep as to be wolfish, and rich in tone. Natara was surprised. She had no idea he could sing.

Oh,dear. Her turn. She brought the microphone to her mouth, glanced at Mal for encouragement, and began. "_Shall I stay, would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you._" Well, perhaps she wasn't doing so bad. No-one was booing her off the stage, and they looked pretty happy. A few were even swaying back and forth. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all…ha! Psych. Maybe she could get off with little to no emotional scarring. Oops! Next line was hers. "_Like a river flows_…"

"_Surely to the sea,_" Mal picked up. He flashed her one of his trademark grins to help her along. "_Darling so it goes_," he continued as Natara joined him. She left off for him to say, "Some things are meant to be."

"_Are meant to be_," she echoed.

"_So take_…"

"_Take_…"

"_My hand, take my whole life too_," they sang together. Slowly, Natara was getting her confidence back, little by little. At least she could look at the audience now. However, she stumbled a bit on the next lines, comprised of, "_For I can't help, falling in love with you_." She had to continue with a "_When I fall in love_…" before a short instrumental began, full of strings and a piano plucking. Her stomach quivered. How could she sing this? How could she betray Oscar like this? Was she betraying Oscar? It was with Mal, so… She wasn't falling in love with Mal! How ridiculous! Oh, good grief! She'd never make it through this song!

Mal, sensing she needed some boosting, snatched her hand and pulled her into an improvised dance, on top of the platform, in front of a huge crowd of people. They waltzed back and forth, completely catching Natara by surprise as the crowd laughed and applauded.

"Mal! What are you doing?!" she hissed, now that the microphone was away from her voice.

"Helping out," he answered, a mischievous lilt to his voice. "You look pretty tense. How's it going?"

Natara scoffed under her breath. "Please. I can't sing."

"Are you kidding?! They loved you! You sounded great!" Mal contradicted her, spinning her around. He brought her back to himself, before whispering, "Whoops, that's us."

Natara shifted aside as they sang together. "_Some things are meant to beeeeee_…" Their voices came to a crescendo beautifully, melting together and blending in their harmony before Mal gracefully exited it with his line of "_Take_…"

"_Take my hand_," Natara echoed as he joined her once more. "_Take my whole life too, for I-_"

"_For I_!" she vocalized. Mal joined once more for, "_Can't help falling in love with you_."

The music began to slow down, softly, and somehow Natara realized they were gazing into each other's eyes. Mal's brow was softly furrowed, in his intentness, his blue eyes staring straight into hers. "_For I_," he softly crooned into his mike, letting her follow with, "For I!" before they joined as one with, "_Ca-an't help, falling in looooove…with_…"

Their hands, his large and calloused, hers smaller and olive-skinned, somehow brushed closer together, their fingers opened up, and they joined together. They held each other's appendage absentmindedly. They didn't even realize they had done it. It was so natural, so fitting. Perfect.

"_Yooooou_…" they sang, their final note ending with Mal staying in the high range and Natara down spiraling with some fancy vocalization. The music panned out, and they both realized their faces were a maximum of three inches away, their noses almost touching. The crowd burst into cheers and yells, apparently very happy with their performance. The two realized they were holding hands and they broke apart, Natara's face the shade of a ripe tomato, and even Mal had a dusting of pink on his cheeks. They climbed down the platform, almost not able to look at each other, to the proclamation of the dj to "Just kiss her already!"

Mal vowed he was going to kill that man and throw him in a ditch.

The group at the table cheered as the two came to sit down. Ken clapped Mal soundly on the back, Blaise giggled and leaned against Jeremy (the ten beers she having consumed finally beginning to get to her), Amy complimenting them on their singing, and Kai simply squealed. He threw his arms around the two's shoulders.

"I got inspiration!" he shrieked as Mal brushed him aside.

"Yeah, yeah that's nice," he snapped.

Natara chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Be nice, Mal," she reprimanded him, "he's only-" She was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. Her screen displayed a picture of her and Oscar's faces squished together, him planting a kiss on her cheek and her smiling gently. "It's Oscar," she murmured, her happy mood suddenly killed.

"You sh…should probably go answer that," Mal replied again, his face suddenly looking crestfallen.

She nodded slowly at first, but sped it up when she realized what was happening. "Y-yeah, of course, yeah, I'll just, um, go o-outside…" She stepped away from the group to answer her fiancé, feeling that the mood had been crushed, and she and Mal wouldn't be able to look at each other for the rest of the night. Why? She chided herself, It was only a song! It meant nothing!

As she pressed the button to answer her phone, she heard Mal exclaim, "You drank my beer?! You little punk! I was singing!"

She chuckled as Oscar's voice started talking faintly. Only half-listening, she let a small, small smile come over her lips.

The next day, Natara received a package on her front porch Inside, there was a complete kit for a bubble bath, fuzzy slippers, Chinese takeout, and a CD that held a series of songs, with Andrea Bocelli's face on the front. After perusing them, she noticed that, number four on the list, "Can't Help Falling in Love, ft. Katherine McPhee", graced the plastic. On the note attached, it read,

"Sorry about last night.

You sang awesome.

Here's your bubble bath."

There was no name.

She smiled a bit, brought the package inside, and took a bath. Playing alongside her, Andrea's voice crooned and Katharine vocalized for the next three and a half hours.

Hey, you can't blame a girl.

-finis

**ASDHGJKL; worst ending ever. Lols. **

**Please review for me. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE they would help my crappy week be much better. X3**


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